Grrrrr....

I haven't felt up to writing much today, either. I was planning on going to the Pacers Fan Jam thing, but that didn't work out. It was a rather crappy day as far as being tired and woozy and just sick. I was up for a couple hours this afternoon, then napped until after 9PM. I've been up since, but mainly because I don't want to be in bed. It's just one of those days.

I do that radiation prep work in a few hours. I'm hoping to be able to shower beforehand. I may lie down for a little bit, too, but we'll see. I might just try to stay up so I can fall asleep during the scans. I'm not sure, but I could find out the exact timetable and plan for the actual treatment, too. They should know soon, anyway, and I'll be sure to relay the info.

I've got mixed feelings about it all. I'm happy to finally be doing something, especially after basically wasting a year dealing with the fuckers in Phoenix (administrative bitches...the actual medical staff was fine). I'm still not big on doing radiation, though, but that's the consensus for what to do next. My biggest issue is just the unknown. Will it work? Will it help? Will it make things worse? How long will results take? Will I feel any better? What if the damage already done is permanent? Will I really have to deal with this shit the rest of my life? I'd have those same questions regardless of the treatment, but this one just takes longer to answer them. I do like being proactive and attacking it, though.

We'll see how I feel once I'm home and all that, and I'll try to give more details about everything, plus talk about the other stuff that I've yet to be able to get to. Hopefully I'll feel better and will be in a bit of a better mood. I'm just sick of being sick and not being able to do even simple things that I want to do. Thanks for sticking with me and I'll do my best to keep you apprised of what's going on.

-B