Doc appointment went well, ND tomorrow!...

I saw one of my surgeons today. He's a really good guy, genuinely cares, and answers all of my questions, no matter how haphazard or long-winded they are, and without making me feel stupid for asking something that's maybe not terribly relevant. His assistant is super nice, too, and we got to talk for a few minutes. It's always good to feel listened to and cared for by doctors. A healthy detachment is fine, but that doesn't mean that they should be aloof. Knowing that they all care (and pretty much all of my regular docs are cool this way) really helps to put me at ease with my situation. I feel that they're doing all that they can to help me, and when they can't, they help me find others who can.


We went over the MRI from last week and the overall tumor situation. Everything is stable. If the tumors have grown, it's not by much. It's hard to be exactly precise because each scan has slightly different images. There's nothing drastically different. The chiari malformation was specifically looked at. All the fluids seem to be flowing nicely, but my cerebellum does definitely hang down a bit lower than normal (which is what a chiari malformation is). It's possible that this contributes to my troubled throat function, but it's more likely that the tumor affects the cranial nerve that controls that. There is a surgery to help correct the malformation, and my surgeon will confer with my neurologist about it, but, at this point, it looks like we'll just keep an eye on it. The surgery basically entails reshaping my skull a bit at the base to alleviate any pressure on the cerebellum. While it is a big deal, and has its risks, it maybe seems a bit scarier than it sounds because it involves my skull and brain and all that.

After the appointment, my mom drove me to pick up a pizza from Papa Murphy's for tonight. They make the pizza, then you take it home and actually bake it. Because of that, I was able to use my food stamps to buy it, which worked out for me. It feels good to contribute a little, especially when I'm being treated to the game. After getting the pizza (sausage and pepperoni is what they wanted...add mushrooms, and that's my usual order, so it works out), I got a few things at the grocery store. Being financially challenged (or, more bluntly, being all but broke), I'm planning on packing a lunch to take with me. I'll just make a couple turkey sandwiches and bring some chips and carrots to go with those. Next up was a little lunch from McDonald's dollar menu, to go, then home.

I still have a few things to get together before I get picked up tonight. I'll round up my meds, clothes, toiletries,  and the food, and I'll shower here in a little while, too. Then I'll get picked up tonight. We'll eat, maybe watch a movie and/or play a couple games for a bit. We'll be heading out of here at 7AM, so we should get to campus by 11AM. Hopefully the traffic isn't too bad and we arrive a little earlier. I haven't been on campus since 2002, and there are lots of new buildings that I want to check out. I'll be working on a to do list and a map here shortly. I'm hoping to meet some friends who'll be up for the game, too. So far, I've arranged to see one. We'll be in front of Sorin, my old dorm, at 12:45PM just before the band plays at Bond Hall (which was usually my wake up call as a student as it's just behind the dorm). The plan is to get to the Stadium around 1:45PM for the 2:30PM start. Well, TV coverage starts at 2:30PM, the actual kickoff won't be until about 2:45PM or so.

I'm really excited to be going back. It's been way too long. It's just been tough being sick and broke and all that. I can't believe it's been 8 years. It'll be nice to reconnect a bit. It's a special place, surely to me, and it's been a big part of my life. I'm looking forward to it being a more active part, even if just for a few hours. If you're going to be on campus, let me know and we'll meet up!

GO IRISH!!!
-B

Just a couple lines...

I wrote this on January 13, 2003, probably late at night. I just happened to be inspired, by what, I can't remember. The intention is to use the lines in a bigger piece, to add onto the few words that are already there, but they do alright standing alone.

Drown (tentative title)

I want to walk in your rain

          And feel you surround me.

I want to drown in your love

            And breathe in your beauty.

New layout...

I tweaked the layout a bit. Hopefully it's an improvement. Let me know what you think. If you're not a fan of the new design, what would you rather see? If you do like it, how can I make it better, still? The goal was to give the text more horizontal room, plus to optimize the ads a bit. I also added a hit counter, and I'm apparently over 1000 views. I'm sure a couple hundred are mine, though.

If  you have any other suggestions, whether it be about the layout, the color scheme, the content...whatever, let me know and I'll do my best to incorporate them. As much as this is about me expressing myself, it's about you receiving that expression. I'm willing to do just about anything that I can do to make your time reading this better.

Thanks,
-B

BRB = Be Right Back!...

Most of my communication with others happens electronically, and a big part of that is instant messaging. It's pretty convenient since I mostly sit right here in front of my computer, plus with everyone having these fancy phones and such, you're all texting/IMing more. I use so many chat clients (because you all do) that I had to find a program that combines them all for me, Digsby. It really helps since I have an old, crappy PC, and running several programs at once doesn't work so well. Digsby combines my Yahoo! Messenger, AOL IM, Google Talk, MSN/Microsoft Live Messenger, Facebook chat, and MySpace IM, as well as giving me access to my emails (Yahoo!, Hotmail, Gmail), Twitter, and my Facebook and MySpace feeds. It also supports other sites/programs that I don't use. Digsby isn't perfect, and you can't use all of the features of each individual program (like BUZZ! on YM), and it handles audio/video differently, but for the basics of chatting, it's great. If I ever need to use any native features that Digsby doesn't support, I'll just log out of that account on Digsby and then load the actual program. An extra benefit of Digsby is that it can log your IMs, even from Facebook chat, which isn't natively supported.


I chat a lot, and I get that IMs are informal. I can handle the lack of capitalization (though "i" instead of "I" does bug me) and don't mind too much when people skip the apostrophes on contractions. I especially understand it when people are typing on their phones and the SHIFT or apostrophe keys aren't so accessible. I'm cool with the IM/SMS abbreviations for the most part, too. What I don't like, what I really, really, really can't stand, is when people don't say what they mean:

BRB = BE RIGHT BACK, NOT BYE REALLY BYE

When you send me a "brb," I'm expecting you to return relatively soon. I understand that stuff happens, that you could get busy with something else, that you're computer/phone might mess up, etc., etc., but if you don't actually intend on resuming to the conversation, just say so. Don't leave me hanging. Now, I'm not always just sitting, twiddling my thumbs, waiting for you to come back, but I do allocate my time and attention for your return. Too, if you're going to be more than 5 minutes or so, you're not really planning on being right back. Instead, say that you'll be back shortly or that you'll be back in awhile--"brb" implies immediacy!

This isn't directed at anyone in particular, it's meant for everyone who does this. And there are other habits that bug me on IM, too, like leaving a conversation without saying "goodbye" at all, or failing to conjugate verbs like "to text" (you know who you are! ;) ), but the "brb" thing probably irritates me more than anything as far as Internet chatting goes. If you don't know what something means, or, if you do know, but still don't actually mean it, then don't use that term. You have been put on notice! :D

BRB,
-B

P.S. (see, I said I'd brb, didn't I?)
For the record, I'm OK with using "lol" even if one isn't actually "laughing out loud." "Lol" has come to transcend it's literal meaning and is used to acknowledge something funny or to avoid an awkward pause or such. I do try to at least chuckle whenever I use "lol," though, just for my own amusement and attempts to be honest...lol :P

A very nice Sunday...

Today's been really good. My brother and his family came over to watch the Colts game and to have dinner. I hadn't seen him in awhile, and it's always great to see my little ones. I had some UFC 119 stuff to give him, plus told him about all that went on (I gave him the link to here so he can read it for himself now :D). It was nice catching up a bit, playing with the kids some, and watching the game. The Colts won, but didn't play so well on offense. I'll be happy with the W, though.

My brother just got a new (to him) laptop, and I added some anti-virus software and updated Windows for him. That took much longer than it should. Everything was working fine when I was done, but he couldn't get Windows to load when he got back to OH (for work). He doesn't know much about computers, and is a understandably pissed that now there are issues when it was fine before. I'm still working on a way to fix it--I'm not sure why it's messing up--but there's not a lot I can do from here. It's looking like he'll have to wait until he comes back to Indy (hopefully next weekend) to get it repaired. The particular error doesn't make much sense, especially since it was fine when I was done with it (I made sure everything worked). I do feel bad that he's having trouble with it. He's not the most patient person, especially about stuff he doesn't know much about, so we'll see how things go. I'll be on the case until we get something together that works for him.

I'm still hoping to cut my hair tonight, and I still need to wash my bedding. It's looking OK that I'll get at least one of those done. I still want to do an op-ed thing, too, so it'll be cool if that works out. I have a couple topics in mind, so as long as I'm feeling alright and don't get too distracted, that should up later tonight sometime. Otherwise, it's just the usual TV and messing around online for the rest of the night.

It's really nice when things go well like they did today. It sucks about the PC issues, but I appreciate the family time. I could feel better, and I'm sure it'll hit me before too long, but I'm feeling OK now. I am hungry, though, so I think I'll go work on fixing something to eat.

Thanks again for checking this out, I really appreciate it! Really :D!

-B :)