Sunday, February 19, 2012

Acceptable Risks...?


February 19, 2012

I’ve been made aware of my mortality again this week. My quality of life within that has also come into play. I did get good news that the tumor appears to be stable and unlikely to grow. I don’t mean to discount that at all because it is major progress; however, I was hoping that the discussion of further treatment would have been less passive.

The tumor is in a bad spot that’s hard to get to. It’s near a lot of important stuff, too, so we must be that much more careful. Any surgical option would be very risky and there’d almost certainly be significant collateral damage. One possible point of entry is behind my ear and I would most likely lose hearing in it. Another way would be to cut out part of my mandible (jaw bone) for access, then reattaching it after. That would have considerable lasting effects as well. And even if some procedure works perfectly, the damage done may already be permanent and my symptoms would not go away. I’ve always understood these dangers, but now I’m even more aware as I’m staring at them more closely.

My doctors want to stand pat and monitor things, and I appreciate why. They’re firmly against taking huge chances. I’m not quite sure what I’m willing to risk. I’m not an invalid; I can get around and take care of myself for the most part. But I can rarely do what I want to do, when I want to do it, how I want to do it, or with whom I want to do it. I never really feel good. Sometimes I’m OK, but there’s no way to know when that’ll be or how long it’ll last. More often than not, I’m stuck sitting here wishing I were doing something else. If Disability ever goes through I’ll have a few more options, but they’re still contingent upon my health.

I’ve felt continuously worse over time. I put up with more now than I did 6 months ago and the tumor is the same size. It doesn’t seem unreasonable to me that, with this given pattern, the trend will continue. But for how long and how much worse will I feel? When is it worth it to risk needing tubes to eat and/or breathe? When is it appropriate to risk paralysis? When is it acceptable to risk death? I came pretty close during my last surgery—do I tempt fate again?

I am tremendously sick of being sick. Unfortunately, some of you can relate to this, and I wish you nothing but the absolute best as you figure out things for yourselves. For those who can’t, I hope you never come close to feeling anything like it. I’ve missed out on so much this last quarter of my life. A lot of what made me me has been taken away. It would seem that most of that is gone forever. I believe I can relate to a professional athlete whose career was taken from him by some major injury, but my sport is life and retirement isn’t an option.

Basically, I have to decide what I’m worth. How bad do I have it, really? How much worse could it get? What else am I willing to put up with? Is this the best that I’ll ever feel? Is this really the best I’ll ever feel again? It’s possible to feel significantly worse than I do now? What is my life worth? What is an acceptable risk? How do I quantify that? I’m not sure what the number is, but there has to exist some reasonable, tangible, finite, and acceptable amount of danger. I have to try to get better, I just have to…but at what potential cost? And that’s where we are. That’s where I am.

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