MRI is done...

That didn't take nearly as long as I thought. Well, now that I think about it, it was my mom who told me that it was supposed to take forever. I should have known better. I hate when doctors' offices talk to her about me. She always mixes stuff up. Grrrr....in her defense, she told the lady to wait a minute and she'd get me when she called to tell me about the MRI, but she wouldn't wait. At any rate, that part is done. I'll see the docs say here in the next couple weeks as we figure out Plan B.

It all went well enough. My mom wrote that my appointment was at 10:45AM, when, in fact, it was at 11:15AM, but wanted me there at 10:45AM to register and all of that. I got there at 10:20AM and waited about an hour before being taken back. I was comfortable enough inside the machine. I was able to breathe, which was my main concern going in. My head was encased to keep me from moving, and the headphones smashed my ears some. I wasn't impressed with the music selection, but it was nice to have something help drown out the noise of the giant magnet spinning around me. All of the people were really nice, and the student did a good job administering the IV contrast dye. The technician was about to do it, but I offered to let the student go. I'm not squeamish, and needles don't bother me. I do alright with pain, too, so it wouldn't have been a big deal if she messed up. She did a great job, though--I barely felt it. The bandage hurt worse. I like giving students a chance to practice on me when it's something simple like IVs. I'd rather not have them do much operating on me, but I'm happy to help them learn.

...

Every time I walk into that part of the hospital (the cancer center), I get really bummed out. The people are all nice, and it's set up very well, lit properly...the tone is perfect...but I just can't get over the fact that I'm there because I have tumors in my head. Everyone else that's there has something serious going on, too. I'm lucky that my stuff isn't cancerous, but it's still pretty bad. It's easier not to think too much about it all on a day to day basis, but when I'm right there, in the CANCER CENTER, it's hard to ignore. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy it exists, so that I can get the care I need, but it's this huge reminder that something is majorly wrong with me, and that it's so damn difficult to treat. I just keep thinking, "Is this really happening? It's really this serious? I'M going through this?" It's rarely not on my mind to some degree, constantly feeling like crap, but being there screams TUMORS and not just that I'm a little sick.

...

Now I'm just deciding if I'm going to take a nap until (or perhaps through) supper, or if I'll stay up. I did get about 4 hours of sleep last night, plus an hour of disjointed sleep inside the machine, but I'm still constantly tired. My sleep schedule is still off, but I've been sleeping what should be enough. Part of it is the headache medicine, I'm sure, but the rest....? I want to stay up, but I'll end up crashing eventually, anyway. Yeah...I'll probably sleep for a bit.

Thanks for reading :)!

-B